“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” ~ Dorothy Day
It is no secret that more and more people are moving away from their communities of origin… economic opportunities, as well as occasions for both personal and professional growth take us not only across countries but across the globe.
Even when we’ve lived in a place for a while, we can find ourselves without the kind of support and connection that we long for… we change jobs, romances end, our kids switch schools, we choose to move beyond friendships that no longer support our growth.
It is inevitable that the times we find ourselves most aware of our lack of community are when we most need it. Unfortunately, the very nature of our neediness and how we as humans respond to such need in others oftentimes guarantees that, after an initial willingness to help, we may end up driving away the very people we expect and want most to be part of our support system.
Ghandi famously said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” If what we most want is a community of like-minded people on whom we can depend, then we must be willing to reach out to likely candidates and offer them our own presence and dependability.
We must use our discernment in choosing people with whom we would like to build community. Finding others with whom we connect who are also willing to give as much as they receive can take time and we may, in the process, have to endure the pain of letting some people go as we discover overtime that we are participating in an unbalanced relationship.
And, of course, there’s always the risk that our overtures may be rejected. But if we never extend our companionship, our wisdom, our shoulder to lean on, how can we expect anyone to offer theirs in turn? If we never communicate that we are available for friendship how is anyone to know?
Ultimately, only we have the power to change and shape our world… if you find yourself feeling that “long loneliness,” ask yourself, what action are you willing to take today in order to alleviate it, to be yourself what you are searching for in others?
‘In our hectic, fast-paced, consumer-driven society, it’s common to feel overwhelmed, isolated and alone. Many are re-discovering the healing and empowering role that community can bring to our lives. The sense of belonging we feel when we make the time to take an active role in our communities can give us a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.” ~ Robert Alan