“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’” ~ Erich Fromm
There’s a piece to this whole self-care puzzle that I’ve never considered up till now. “I can’t take care of anyone else if I don’t take care of myself” is pretty much my mantra the days (as if you couldn’t guess if you’ve been reading these postings regularly :D)… but I’ve never stopped to think about the effect my wellbeing has on those who love me.
HHP Founder Kurt Hill has always said that, “true love is two people standing in the light of the Divine, loving themselves.” When love is real, it is as much, if not more, an act of self-care as anything else. We find that we like who we are in life because of who we are accepted as and supported to be within our relationships… so when we contemplate the loss of our special someone, beyond the loss of their wonderful, warm presence in the world, it’s not losing the gifts that they bring or having to do the chores that are their’s, it is the loss of who we are when we are with them that can leave us reeling. It is good for our health for our loved ones to be healthy.
If you flip the picture, then taking care of ourselves is not only self-care, it is, in actuality, an act of nurturing towards our loved ones. Our continued good health frees them form the burden of worry – which, as we all know, brings with it its own stressors and health concerns.
So if we want to love our loved ones best, we had better love ourselves!
“Listen, big boy,
Now that you got me made,
Goodness, but I’m afraid,
Somethin’s gonna happen to you!
Listen, big boy,
You gotta be hooked, and how,
I would die if I should lose you now!
Button up your overcoat,
When the wind is free,
Oh, take good care of yourself,
You belong to me!
Be careful crossing streets, ooh-ooh,
Cut out sweets, ooh-ooh,
Lay off meat, ooh-ooh,
You’ll get a pain and ruin your tum-tum!
Wear your flannel underwear,
When you climb a tree,
Oh, take good care of yourself,
You belong to me!”
~ B.G. DeSylva and Lew Brown, Lyrics to Button Up Your Overcoat