“Over the centuries we have transformed the ancient myths and folk tales and made them into the fabric of our lives. Consciously and unconsciously we weave the narratives of myth and folk tale into our daily existence.” ~ Jack Zipes
Every culture has its mythology, a strong underlying story that shapes the identity, at some level, of every one of its citizens.
In the United States, we pride ourselves on being cowboys. Even when the rest of the world sneers and uses the term as a derogatory statement of our recklessness, there is always a part of us that is proud the bear the name.
We identify with being wily, rugged individualists – survivors, who are not afraid to take “God’s Law” into our own hands when the laws of man fail.
I see the effects of this mythology every day on the table… strained necks, aching shoulders, sore backs, congested heart and throat chakras.
“Strong, silent type, “ I say to both men and women alike, and I can feel their smiles. Without seeing their faces, I know that they are pleased to be recognized.
The white-hatted cowboy, the American hero, rides into town by himself one day and finds himself in the middle of wrongdoing. With very few words, he sets about righting the injustice, not because it affects him – he could ride right back out of town again – but because there is something in him that hates corruption. In the end, disregarding physical risk and often great personal cost, he saves the day.
And when it is all over, brushing off the thanks and rewards of a grateful township, he rides off into the sunset with nothing more than the tip of his hat.
It’s a powerful story – and one that causes us great pain as individuals…. because it doesn’t take into account some higher certainties:
*Speaking our truth in the world is not a bad thing, even when it means admitting pain, or fear, or loneliness.
*Working with other people, trusting them to carry their own weight and to contribute to getting the job done is not a sign of weakness.
*Asking for and expecting an even exchange of energy from those we help or are in relationship with does not make us selfish.
*It takes as much, if not more, courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and interdependent in the face of crisis, as it does to maintain our “rugged individuality.”
Our family, community, and national mythologies, in concert with our personal experiences, provide us with our individual identity, code of ethics, and rules of behavior, not to mention life long motivation. But they are only useful if we are conscious of the stories we are reenacting and the ramifications they have upon our mind, body, and soul.
At the end of the day, the sunset is beautiful- and there’s no doubt that we will all, eventually, ride off into it by ourselves – but, along the way, couldn’t we be more honest about our feelings, braver about asking for and accepting help, softer with our hearts?
“Let’s face it. In most of life we really are interdependent. We need each other. Staunch independence is an illusion, but heavy dependence isn’t healthy, either. The only position of long-term strength is interdependence: win/win.” ~ Greg Anderson
“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
I feel your pain.
We are a nation, stereotypically that makes its decisions based on logic (Just the facts m’am). Feelings, then, have no place in a logical decision as they are not considered to be related to the data upon which the decision is made.
In practice, and it is used a whole lot by business, industry, etc., this way of deciding can appear to be cold, as it frequently fails to take human impact, especially negative human impact, into account as a part of the decision-making. (My job is to make money for the corporation, which is why I decided to lay off 1500 people. Do I know they have families and mortgages and bills? Do I feel badly? Of course I do. But what do my feelings have to do with the decision.)
This cultural archetype is the perfect incubator for the Marlboro-Man-screw-you-and-the-horse-you-rode-in-on-rugged-individual-strong-silent-ride-off-into-the-sunset-alone-type of individual we see all around us. We, as a nation, are in a trance. We act out the stereotypical archetype whether it works or not.
Time to snap out of the trance and tell ourselves a different story, and generate a kinder, gentler energy.