“No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.” ~ Barbara De Angelis

From the time I was 16 years old, I felt like I had a directional signal in my head leading me ever forward toward my goal of being a professional actor. It made choices very easy; things either brought me closer or they took me away. And if it gave me blinders to other possibilities, it was a small price to pay for having such clarity.

Until 10 years ago when the signal went off.

It was like the Wizard of Oz in reverse. My entire world went from Technicolor to gray. The landscape had no definition, nothing stood out; every choice was equal.

I didn’t know how to operate without purpose.

The depression followed… and that I really didn’t know how to deal with.

Fortunately, my therapist Mary did; she told me this story:

Years after World War II ended, a woman who had survived the concentration camps was being interviewed. The reporter asked her how, when so many had perished, she had managed to survive. The woman said that there had been another woman in her barracks, a woman who was frail and sickly and much worse off than the others. Every day, our survivor would eat only a portion of her bread ration, saving the other piece for her ill bunkmate.

“I knew that if I didn’t survive, my friend would soon die without the extra bread,” she stated simply.

Mary finished, and we sat quietly. After a moment, she looked at me and asked, “So…. What’s your piece of bread?”

And I knew.

I knew that, despite the fact that I no longer felt pulled to succeed in the theatre, I was still excited by the idea of being part of transformative experiences. At the root of my desire to be an actor was a call to participate and facilitate Ah-Ha moments in people’s life…

It was enough.

I never did recover that same sense of surety, but I had learned that it was a false security anyway. I became comfortable with not knowing what the rest of my life was going to look like. I practiced looking a month, a week, or a day out in front of myself rather than years.

Today, I am fortunate enough to work to help others find their way out of the gray, but I am always open to the possibility that the modalities may shift or be added to. What will never change is my desire to help people to find their own power and purpose…

What’s your piece of bread?
“I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

~ Edward Everett Hale

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