Monthly Archives: January 2010

The Lenses I Wear

“Because philosophy arises from awe, a philosopher is bound in his way to be a lover of myths and poetic fables. Poets and philosophers are alike in being big with wonder.” ~ St. Thomas Aquinas

“Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

I recently helped a friend with his “Philosophy of Teaching,” which apparently is something that you need if you’re applying for college and university jobs. The point is to concisely communicate the personal truths, which shape your educational methodologies. This is, as you might guess, harder than you’d think.

But of course, me being me, I got to thinking about what I would write… what are the fundamental beliefs that are the core of my work as a healer?

(Before I start, I should state that these are my personal beliefs and not those of Holistic Health Practice… not that I think I’m going to say anything that anyone would object to, but you know – better safe than sorry!)

I believe that each and every person has direct access to wisdom; the answers are all within you. Your path is your own. I can walk beside you; I can mirror things back to you. I can even point out things you may be too close to see… but, unlike a river guide, I can’t guarantee where the rapids will be or even where the pretty places to pull off and have lunch are… only you can determine that.

I believe that we carry our unfinished business in our bodies, which leads to pain and illness. Living in a culture that believes “there’s no point in crying over spilt milk” may account for the ever-growing number of chronic pain sufferers in our country. (I DON’T believe it’s anyone’s fault if they get sick – and I personally would stop seeing any healer who suggested they were!)

I believe that our daily choices create our lives, and that if we don’t like how things are going, we can make the choice to change.

I believe that, in living life, there are no real mistakes, only opportunities for growth. They say that Thomas Alva Edison failed 1,999 times to make a working light bulb; HE said it was a 2,000 step process.

I believe that we are spiritual creatures here to have a human experience. For me, that means that being embodied is critical to our purpose. Not to enjoy and appreciate having a body is to deny our reason for being.

I believe that hugs heal, laughter cures, and speaking the truth alleviates pain.

I believe that caretakers need to be care taken, and that it is an enormous honor when the person who everyone leans on, allows themselves to lean on me.

I believe that each and every one of us has a purpose, a reason for being here. I believe that each of those reasons is necessary and therefore, no one is any more important than anyone else. There may be big cogs and small springs in the machine, but the whole grinds to a halt if any pieces are missing.

I believe when you find where you are meant to be, what you are wired for, then you feel joyful and fulfilled… I’m a healer because I’m meant to be – and the pleasure I experience when I participate in someone else’s shift tells me I’m home.

“Beliefs are choices. No one has authority over your personal beliefs. Your beliefs are in jeopardy only when you don’t know what they are.” ~Jay Allison

“The philosopher believes that the value of his philosophy lies in the whole, in the building: posterity discovers it in the bricks with which he built and which are then often used again for better building: in the fact, that is to say, that building can be destroyed and nonetheless possess value as material.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Wings of Heaven on My Shoes

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.” ~ Samuel Smiles

I have a thing about drum music – always have.  Which is kind of funny because I’ve never had a really good conscious understanding of rhythm.  Even funnier given that I spent my sophomore year in the percussion section of the band.

What can I say – I liked drummers… 😉

In my first semester of grad school, I had the option of taking a class entitled, “Drum Time, Dream Time, Drama Time.”  OOH, three favorites all wrapped up in one course.  I couldn’t wait.

Class was held in a space called “The Cave,” a windowless meditation space that had been used for a variety of ceremonies over the school’s history.  The silence in the room was audible, and the air was thick with good vibes…

Awesome

There were 9 of us in class; the first day, the teacher Bruce stood us in a horseshoe behind the tall djembe drums.  He taught us our first rhythm, and we were off.  Week after week, we added to our drumming vocabulary; the patterns becoming more and more complicated.  Bruce would divide us into groups and we’d have to maintain our own rhythm amidst all the others, while his snare drum soared above them all.

I loved it… and I was completely frustrated.

Every week, Bruce would gently remind me (again) that I needed to keep my eyes open.  “Feet grounded,” he’d say in response to my unconscious tapping.

He explained that in the Afro-Cuban tradition, religious ceremonies often included both drummers and dancers.

“It is the drummer’s job to stay grounded, so that the dancer can dance the space between and make contact with the spirit world.  The drummer provides the tether so the dancer can find their way back to this plane.”

“Eyes Open, Tara!”

Somewhere around week 5, Bruce was once again waxing poetic about the job of the drummer when he caught me shaking my head.

“What’s going on?” he asked me.

“I get what you’re saying, “ I answered, guiltily.  I wasn’t even aware that I had been disagreeing – talk about the body giving you away!  “It’s just that I don’t feel grounded when I’m drumming.  My entire head feels like it’s full of helium.”

“Ok,” he said, “come out here.”  He pulled me into the center of the circle.  “Now, all I want you to do is follow the helium… close your eyes, and let yourself go.”

And he signaled the class to begin the day’s rhythm again.

I stood, surrounded by drum music, and I surrendered myself to it, following the lightness in my head.  My body began to move, hips swaying, feet tapping.

And then the snare began its song, and I lost all control over my physicality.  I couldn’t NOT dance.

There was a part of me, the observer, who in the midst of all this was able to note that I had no power to stop.  It even pointed out that this whole event was an awful lot like that scene from Wayne’s World where Garth sees the beautiful woman and, with Foxy Lady playing in his head, loses control over his pelvis, shaking and gyrating in his attraction for her.

Part of me giggled, while the rest of me danced… the drum held me captive, while at the same time it liberated me. I had been given permission to let go, and I actually felt the lines that had been binding me release.  Just like a hot air balloon that’s lost its ballast, I shot skyward.  I can’t explain it any other way than to say that I danced myself off the planet.

It was my first taste of real freedom, and gave me a clue as to my spiritual identity.  Classes or not, training or no, in the spirit world, I am a Dancer.

It took me three days to touch down again, though I never did regain the same sense of being super glued to the ground.  Today, my grounded ness is a choice born out of a love for being embodied rather than a defensive measure aimed at keeping me safe.

And Dancing is still my fail-safe method for connecting to the All-That-Is.  It is a solace and a gift.

All it took was admitting what I wasn’t.

“Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meanderings, but leads none of us by the same route.” ~ Charles Caleb Colton

The Joy of Giving?

“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” ~ Albert Einstein

I have a confession to make… I have taken to ducking in and out of the Whole Foods across the street from the office, scurrying in and out with my eyes lowered, even going so far as to walk all the way around the block, simply to avoid the army of people asking for money outside the doors.

They have clearly identified the people the store attracts as soft touches and therefore prime targets.  There has not been a single visit in months where at least one person didn’t ask me for a handout.

It’s not that I’m not charitable; I give to any number of organizations that support causes that I feel are important and meaningful, and which I believe make the world a better place for all.  I will almost always work out a deal for someone who needs my services but can’t pay full price, and I give away sessions to charitable organizations as auction items for benefits.  My friends are frequently the beneficiaries of not only my work but also of my time – babysitting, editing, errands, etc.  I give change in the grocery store to people who turn up short.

And for the most part, I do this all pretty joyfully.

But somehow all the giving I do doesn’t assuage the guilt I feel when I walk past an outstretched hand or rattling cup… but giving doesn’t feel good, either.

“Beggars should be abolished entirely!” said Nietzsche.  “Verily, it is annoying to give to them and it is annoying not to give to them.”

The first year I lived in Chicago, I gave to anyone who asked.  I took everyone’s story at face value and gave what I had to give… but then I started to learn things…

I listened to two men in a bus shelter wearing far nicer shoes than mine talk about what a good “scam” (their word, not mine) selling Streetwise was.

A friend shared that he had given faithfully to a man outside the restaurant at which he worked whose house had burned down.  Until the guy let it slip that he was pulling down upwards of $250 per night, five days a week, sitting where he was.  My friend did the math, realized he himself was making significantly less money, and that was the end of that.

I was subjected over and over again to the rehearsed rants by men who held entire EL cars captive, asking to be taken care of.

I discovered that one of the paraplegics sitting on the local corner would, at the end of his “shift,” wheel himself around the corner where someone in a luxury van would pick him up.

William Temple, Sr. said, “Good intentions are at least, the seed of good actions; and every one ought to sow them, and leave it to the soil and the seasons whether He or any other gather they fruit.”

I appreciate the thought – I like the idea that, as long as I give my money with good intentions, that the intention of the receiver isn’t my concern.

But that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I had “Suckah” written on my forehead that first year.

For a while, I assuaged my need to give directly by always giving to street artists.  Sing in the el tunnel… paint yourself silver and stand on Michigan Ave. dancing like a robot… drum on plastic buckets… I didn’t care.  I liked that there was at least some exchange of energy happening.

But lately that doesn’t feel like enough.  With the economy being what it is; I know I am one of the fortunate ones.  I love what I do, and I get to do it amongst people who I consider family in the very best sense of the word.  I get paid to do something that makes me feel whole and complete and like I am making the world a better place, one person at a time.

Not everyone is so lucky.

And it’s cold outside.

So, I’d like to put something directly into the hands of someone who really needs it; someone in my neighborhood, in my community who can benefit from what I can afford to give…

But I’d like not to feel like I’m being played in the process.

“We can all be conned but at what point do we realize that we’re being conned and to what point do we allow ourselves to be conned?” ~ Guy Ritchie

S’Wonderful

“Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought; our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.” ~ Samuel Johnson

I was at home one day when my best friend from Grad school called me.

“I’m having the most FANTASTIC day!” she said to me.

I got excited; I imagined all kinds of fabulous things that might have come into her world.  New job, reconnection with an old friend, meeting a fascinating someone new…

“Really?!  What’s going on?”

“My car broke down in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge,” she answered.

“WHAT???” was my automatic reply. “How is that fantastic??”

“Oh,” she said, “it’s WONDERFUL.  They come along in a truck with a board tied to the front, and they push your car off to the side, out of traffic.  THEN, you get to stand in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge and look at the world!”

“Ok,” I said, beginning to catch on.

“How often do you get to stand in the MIDDLE of the Golden Gate Bridge??  It’s FANTASTIC!!!!!

This is my friend Jessica, who is one of the brightest, funniest, most grounded humans I know.  When she tells you something is FANTASTIC, she means it…

Jessica is my role model for living in the moment – she not only manages to stay present to the here and now, but with hedonistic pleasure, she latches on to what joy there is to be found and runs with it.

How many of us can say the same?

Inevitably, life will not go the way we plan.  The truth is that we can make all the plans we want, but the future is still unknown to us.  How we react to the moment depends entirely on our ability to let go of how we thought things would be and embrace what IS.

Not every situation gives us as clear-cut a benefit as being able to look out over San Francisco Bay from 220 feet above…

But there is almost always wisdom to be gleaned, and pleasure to be found if we are able to surrender the shoulds, and the coulds, and the woulds to the Now.

FANTASTIC indeed!

“Tell me what gives a man or woman their greatest pleasure and I’ll tell you their philosophy of life.” ~ Dale Carnegie

In Honor of MLK

“Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political & moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression & violence without resorting to oppression & violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression & retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

So, I’m giving myself an ENORMOUS “duh” this Martin Luther King Day…

As amazing as this may sound, somehow or another, I never quite got that King’s message was one of Radical Love.

See, despite knowing that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a minister, I somehow managed to miss that his was a spiritual mission.  I admit that, if I thought about it at all, I attributed the religious component of his work to the language of the African American culture of the time.

I have read, watched, and listened to his speeches, and yet I managed to miss that “love your neighbor as yourself” was the guiding principle behind his commitment to non-violence.

“Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars… Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Imagine if, in the face of others’ anger, confusion, disappointment, and hurt, we were able to move beyond our own fears and respond to their’s from a place centered in love… love for their humanity, love for our own, love for the possibilities between us…

If we take it one step further, if each and every one of us made a commitment to non violence in all our actions – if every individual and business adopted the motto of the medical profession, “first, do no harm,” what radical changes would we have to make?

Wouldn’t we stop polluting the earth in order to make a quick buck?  Wouldn’t there be equal pay for equal work?  Wouldn’t products be priced fairly?  Wouldn’t we assure that every person had access to top medical care, good food, clean water, that every child had an opportunity for equal education?  Wouldn’t we make sure that every person was treated fairly?

Isn’t this the aim of the Civil Rights movement – then AND now??

And it all starts in Love.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.